Picture this: It’s 6pm. You’ve just walked through your front door after a day filled with meetings, deadlines, and office politics. Your little one runs to greet you, bursting to share their day, whilst simultaneously your teenager needs help with homework, the dog needs walking, and dinner needs cooking. Your shoulders are tense, your head is still swimming with work tasks, and despite your immense love for your family, you feel your patience wearing thin.
You’re not alone in this. Not even slightly. 💝
Let me share Sarah’s story (name changed):
“After a particularly challenging day at work, my 6-year-old was desperate to show me her new dance routine. All I wanted was 10 minutes of quiet, but her enthusiasm couldn’t wait. As she twirled and jumped, accidentally knocking over my coffee, I snapped. The moment I saw her face fall, my heart broke.”
The Science Behind Our Evening Struggles:
• Our brains process roughly 34GB of information during a workday
• Children process similar amounts through school, social interactions, and learning
• Both parents and children experience decision fatigue by day’s end
• Stress hormones peak when transitions aren’t managed mindfully
What’s Really Happening in Our Homes:
For Us Parents:
• Hours of professional decision-making
• Emotional labour at work
• Constant context switching
• Carrying mental load for family needs
For Our Little Ones:
• Navigating friendship dynamics
• Learning new concepts
• Managing emotions all day
• Missing you whilst apart
What Did Sarah Do?
“That evening, we sat together and created our ‘coming home ritual’ – five minutes of quiet cuddles before sharing our days. It changed everything.”
Ways Forward 🌟
1. Create Your Landing Pad:
Take 5-10 minutes when you first get home. Pop the kettle on, change into comfy clothes, and signal to your brain that you’re transitioning to family time.
2. Share Your Hearts:
Tell your children or young people: “We’ve also had a full day using our brain and heart at work, just like you have at school. Let’s take a moment to settle together.”
3. Connect Before Direct:
Before diving into homework or chores, spend a few minutes genuinely connecting. A proper hug, eye contact, or simply sitting together can work wonders.
4. Lower Those Evening Expectations:
It’s perfectly okay if dinner is beans on toast and if bedtime stories are shorter some days. You’re doing brilliantly.
Remember: Every parent has these moments. Every child understands love, even when we’re not at our best. What matters most is how we repair, reconnect, and grow together.
You’re doing an amazing job, even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it. Your awareness and desire to understand these dynamics already makes you an incredible parent. 🌟 To find out more about Active Listening click here.
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